Surround Yourself With People Who Make You Better

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Recently I was listening to an older episode of The Tim Ferriss Show where Naval Ravikant answers listener’s questions. In the episode, Naval talks about various happiness hacks, books he’s reading, artificial intelligence, among other subjects.

The main thought that stood out most to me was when he referenced the “5 Chimps Theory.”

“In zoology you can predict the mood and behavior patterns of any chimp by which five chimps they hang out with the most. Choose your five chimps carefully.” -Naval Ravikant

Have you ever noticed when you hang out with someone a lot you’ll sometimes start saying words or phrases that they do? This is a small example of the “5 Chimps Theory” in action. Naval’s point is that you need to choose the people around you wisely, because they will have a big impact on your potential in life and how successful you become.

If you surround yourself with wise people, who are trying to improve and better themselves, those qualities will help push you to be better. On the other hand, if you associate with people who engage in self destructive habits (smoking, drinking too much, gambling, etc), those habits will start to negatively effect you.

Jim Rohn talks about this same concept in his famous quote, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

I’ve seen this in my own life many times. One example is at my job, where I’m one of the youngest employees. My coworkers are intelligent, hard working people, with a variety of life experiences. Being around my coworkers has helped me grow and improve myself.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. -Proverbs 27:17

Living Differently

Sometimes in life you’ll encounter people who expect you to live the same way as them. They’ll discourage your ideas of self-improvement, and encourage you to follow the path that everyone else is taking.

Zach from Four Pillar Freedom has an incredible analogy for this:

“When crabs get caught by crab fisherman, they’re tossed in a bucket. The bucket almost always has no lid on it. Why is this? It turns out the lid isn’t necessary because collectively the crabs in the bucket will pull down any crab that tries to climb out. And if one crab makes too many attempts to escape, he risks having his limbs torn off by his peers.

But this behavior isn’t limited to crabs. This is an eerily accurate analogy of what happens when one decides to make radical financial changes in their life.”

The way the crabs pull each other down can represent how society reacts when we try to take the road less traveled. Most people are living lives that they don’t find fulfilling. Often times they’re making poor financial decisions that lead them chained to a job they don’t enjoy, causing stress and conflict.

Better Than Normal

This may be a “normal” way to live, unfortunately in our society normal is broke, stressed, and unhappy. In our lives we need to strive to be better than normal. We don’t have to follow the same path as everyone else, we can make mindful choices and live the lives we want to live. We can choose to pay off our debt, save money, and build wealth.

An extension of this is how you spend your time, and what you consume. If you’re on social media for many hours per day, you’ll find it harder to avoid comparing yourself to others. If you’re spending all your down time watching the news and reality TV, you’ll find it harder to maintain a positive mindset.

Being around like-minded people will help you reach your goals. Surround yourself with people that will challenge you and help you grow. Spend time with people with similar ambition and work ethic. Find people who have reached the places you want to reach, spend time with them and learn new skills.

Choose your five chimps carefully.

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