Why Money is Important in Relationships
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Source: DealsPlus
Money impacts all aspects of our lives in some way, whether we like it or not. We almost all experience the stresses of paying bills, the excitement of a paycheck, and the challenge of setting money aside for savings.
However, even though money plays such a key role in our daily lives, it’s one of the most taboo subjects in conversation.
In fact, studies by Wells Fargo and Nerd Wallet found that 44% of people find talking about money more controversial than any other topic, including politics and religion.
Why is money such a difficult subject to broach? Could it be that we’re embarrassed about our debt? Afraid that we won’t measure up to the perfection we see our friends post on social media?
Whatever it may be, for those that DO talk openly about their finances with family and trusted friends, it can be incredibly freeing. It involves being vulnerable and sharing a big part of your life, and brings you much closer to the other person.
Money in Marriage
Statistically, finances are one of the most common causes of divorce. Money can be a source of extreme conflict and stress, leading to a lot of unhappiness in marriage. It can manifest itself in a variety of ways, whether that be arguments about each other’s spending habits or the panic that comes with not having enough money leftover at the end of the month to pay the bills.
With this in mind, it becomes even more apparent why practicing these habits of discussing financial topics in a healthy way and having full transparency with your partner is so important. Marriage is a partnership forever, and it’s about walking through life as a team. This needs to happen with your money as well. Before getting married, you each should learn each other’s spending habits, attitudes towards money, expectations, and goals. By aligning your goals with your future spouse, the transition from dating to marriage will be that much smoother.
Working on a budget together and being transparent about your financial situation helps bring you even closer with your significant other. This becomes even more important in marriage. Ideally, you should join your finances together, so that you’re both on the same page and can both see your full financial picture. Studies show that up to 40% of married couples don’t know their partner’s income, and that is frightening to me. You’ll need to find what works best for your situation, but it seems to me that keeping your finances separate would do more harm than good.
Decide the budget together and then stick to it. My wife and I use Mint.com to set our budget, track our expenses, and keep up to date with how our finances are doing. This builds our trust with one another and helps to keep each other accountable from unnecessary purchases, especially when we are both working toward a common long term goal together. We also periodically check in with each other so we ensure that we’re always on the same page with our various savings goals.
While we track our expenses closely, we don’t over scrutinize or complain about what we each have purchased. Instead, we make decisions together based on what we each value. We also each have an allocated amount each month as “fun” money, which we can spend however we want.
Final Thoughts
Overall, your finances can be a constant source of conflict, filled with guilt and stress over how your money is spent, if you don’t handle them properly within your relationship. On the other hand, by being open and honest with your partner, it can bring you both much closer and help you take your relationship to the next level. It’s all about having it be a team effort, laying the foundation for healthy financial habits while you’re dating, and then taking the next step in implementing those habits in marriage.
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